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Friday, January 26, 2007
Argh!!!!
WHY OH WHY MUST I KEEP THINKING OF HIM LIKE EVERY MINUTE, SECONDS WHEN HEZ NOT AROUND!!!!
Nak kata dia baik, ok ar, baik juga ar..tapi bila dia marah.....aiyoh!!!!!!!!!!! tak terangkat sey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anywayz, this is about the roller coaster i was telling you about. Yeah, hez super nice...I began to have a crush on him since the first time i met him. Never did I realise that I would be riding the roller coaster with him now. I was like ecstatic but at the same time, stress over riding this roller coaster.
I mean, he never takes notice of me. Not like I want him to but.....He never does. I mean...itz ok. I know who I am, juz an average girl who doesnt like to dress up. Seriously....I dunnoe what are just his type of girl. Is it...a girl who dress up? or a pan-asian kind of girl???? Or is it a girl who is not malay??? I really dunnoe!!!!! All I know, I will never, EVER be in his list.
Seriously, I will never ever be in his list for I am juz average....Haiz......if only he will take notice of me...But he will never lor......Thatz for sure...
All I know I lurve the smell of his perfume minus the smoking smell. (Only in the MORNING). Yeah, thatz it....I guess thatz all for now...a ride in the roller coaster with the roller coaster...Juz make a guess who this roller coaster might be and I will give you a treat...Hahaz...itz pretty simple to guess actually.. :P
*[[Giving Myself a Chance]]* |10:34 PM|
Monday, January 22, 2007
Haiz...I really should stop yeah..browsing his blog. Yet again, itz such a dissapointment reading thru it. Haiz....I read thru everything yet again (mcm takder kejer lain gitu). Haiz......Why oh why must it be this way....I really should move on.
Haiz......Saying is easier said than done. By the end of 2007, I shall make sure, he shall remain as a friend and no more than that. Itz not my fault to fall head over heels for him. It just happens. We were together and then we were not all because of a mistake we make. Anyways, it gotta happen. I am just tired already. Tired of having to let my heart getting broken everytime till I have a phobia of getting attached. What if the guy's parents dun like me???
Anyways, I know myself. I can never get the guy I wish for cuz perhaps the guy have already has that sumone in his mind. Yeah, whoz that sumone? I dunnoe....I really dunnoe. Who am I? An average girl who doesnt know how to dress herself up. Sumone who alwayz mumble and talk super fast. I just can never be the girl of every guy's dream cuz I lurve being myself. I will never upgrade. I did upgrade myself ONLY when I was with the ex. When I broke up, I just dun feel the vibes to dress myself up. To me, a guy should like me for who I am and not for what I am. Which is why, I guess nobody would want me. Haiz.....Life is so miserable.........
Life...why make it so hard.....Maybe I am having the PMS which is why I am feeling down these few days especially to see that maybe I will be the only single in the singles club. Pressured by others. Never mind....Its ok. Soon but maybe not so soon I may be attached. Rather choose the guy properly...Itz easy actually to find the guy....the most is chemistry. I dun care bout looks anymore cuz Looks bring me nowhere. Haiz...If I am pretty, perhaps, I can consider looks. But I am just average looking with big eyes and double eyebags and 1 nose and 1 mouth(nosy) and 2 ears, who would want me? Haiz.......
Life.........is so.................MISERABLE........... Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Today shall be better than tomorrow seems like fading away day by day as I enter into the realm of roller coaster life. I see the roller coaster and I see stressed face on my face. To be dragged to work. I wish I can hold on to the handrails longer. I mean, I cant scold him cuz partly itz my fault. At the worst, I may get scolded back. So Id rather keep quiet and let the rants out to the walls of the toilet or to fidah. Haiz.........
Life is so....................................MISERABLE............... Get this in my mind and I will feel down the whole week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh!!!!!!! Give me life!!!!! Give me a BREAK! "HAVE A BREAK, HAVE A KIT KAT" hahaz!
Okies peepz......Adios......
*[[Giving Myself a Chance]]* |10:55 PM|
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Life under stress makes me shivers a LOT!!!!!!
Argh!!! I dunnoe when hez nice, HEZ SUPER NICE. But once hez mean, HEZ SUPER MEAN!!! ARGH!!!! I JUST HATE HIM AT THE SAME TIME, I KINDA LIKE HIM! SO WHATZ NEW?! (You just have to figure out...ok ar...itz the roller coaster when it malfunctions)
Seriously, I have so MUCH, MANY to say but yet again, my brain juz left me with a blank mind!
Anyways, the ex have found or soon to find the replacement while I shall remain single as long as I feel free. Anyways, my heart is still empty. Ok ar..perhaps with the exception of the ex but since hez free, i shall also be free. Anyways, in this line, itz just super damn hard to find that one for a husband or boyfriend who is husband material. Seriously, I have to think about marriage considering my age of 22. Aiyoh!!! 3-5 years left to end the singleton life is so hard considering I am single. Haiz......If only, if only.....ARGH!!!!!!!
Anywayz..
Driving is so DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!! WHY!!! Sumtimes I can just feel that I might be dead in an accident(Nau'zubillah bin zalik, jauh in aku dari nya) Serious!!!!! Itz super dangerous, itz like putting your life at stake when you are driving!!!!!! Really!!!!! Can you imagine, aiyoh!!! I alwayz forgot to look at the mirror and it nearly caused me accident like COUNTLESS OF TIMES!!!!!! haiz......People HORNING at me like COUNTLESS OF TIMES!!!! Looking at me like I am some kind of criminal, COUNTLESS OF TIMES!!! Haiyoh!!! If not for going to malaysia every week, Id rather take public transport!!!
I could still remember Juraimi asks me why do I buy the car since I always complain of not enough money. My reason was pretty simple... I need the car to bring my mum to malaysia. Itz more of necessity rather than comfort. Cuz I pity my mum having to lose breath everytime we queue up at the checkpoint. So thatz the very reason I have to sacrifice $286 every month for the car. Haiz...my bring home pay is 1100-286: left with 814...Haiz...814 to spend every month...thatz like I have to cut down on splurging on my body shop products which will take up $30 every month and also shopping on clothes and shoes and bags which accumulates to $100 per month...Argh!! A little wonder why I am left with what I have now...NO SAVINGS!!!!! Also, giving my parents $250.... Haiz.....So I need to start saving...thatz my new year resolution!!!
So up next is the new year resolution for the year 2007/ maal hijrah
- To do the solat 5 times per day that was stated in the Qur'an (alwayz missed the timing, feelz really bad sey)
- To save at least $100 per month
- To claim for ot every time i do( alwayz kena lecture by my dearest brother juraimi, weird, he knows that I alwayz claim half time for most of my ot hours)
- To get promoted by 2008
- To at least handle poshgrove project by my own
- To do filing almost everyday so that I wont waste my time filing for 2 hours....Dun care about the DD if he din sign (cuz he never sign one)
- To be responsible for my actions instead of relying on others
- To control myself when I am stressed esp if I got scolded by Juraimi cuz I remember the other time he did, I was like ON THE VERGE to cry!!!!!! Den he can still talk to me, seriously, when he did, my tears was already ON THE VERGE to drop from my eyes!!! I was super SHIVERING lor!!!! It was my mistake...
- Like last year, I never learnt my lesson which is................TO BE MORE VIGILANT WHEN DOING MY WORK!!!!!!!!!! TO FOCUS!!!!! TO TAKE THINGS SERIOUSLY FOR WHATEVER JOB THAT WAS GIVEN!!! (sumtimes the simplest thing is the most important task eg. filing of items and stamping original signed to drawings and contract documentation, etc...)
- To stop sighing
- To stop browsing thru the ex's blog and get myself being sad all over juz becuz he has moved on and I haven.
- To be positive ALWAYZ!!!!!!
Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thatz quite a list and I am still adding more?!?!?!?!?! Okok....I tink if I list everything down, it will never end..So I guess I have make my statement... Happy new year everyone(not too late for muslims but too late for the rest of the races)
*[[Giving Myself a Chance]]* |11:00 PM|
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