Soul: Sharifah Nurulhuda
First Cry: 240685
Schools: South View Pri Dunearn Sec Singapore Poly RMIT Uni
Hangouts: Esplanade Central
Kak Nor Siti Azziana Abdillah Benjamin Faeiz Hisham Haddad Khairul Anwar Liyana Najib Zafirah Yasmin
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Life is full of Ups and Downs...its your choice whether you want it be on the bright side or the other
Is it just me or all my computers knows me pretty well!!! In order not to make me feel sad, even my lappie din allow me to check my email..But I read that mail anyhows...And the sentence....Oh wellz, I shouldnt blog about it. I should not over react. I should NOT! So okiez....LETZ GET ON WITH THE HARI RAYA MOOD....No matter all the stories that may hurt me in the end, I shall and I REALLY WILL not let that dampen my mood.
So yeah, Yesterday! Yesterday, Yesterday, I went out for my Hari Raya at JB!!! Okiez...Din get to meet up with all my cuzzins, but itz ok anyhows..All my cuzzins are in Uni while me? I am already working! Shuckz...the worst is...they can still get their duit zakat but as the saying goes.....yang memberi lagi mulia dari yang menerima so....I guess....that could perk me up a bit.
Anywayz, yesterday, I went to all my auntie's and cousin's house with my eldest brother. Again, I din get to meet all my siblings...which is sad really. Seriously, I may not know when can I meet all of them. Haiz.........So anywayz, my nephews are really cute esp the younger one, hez 8 month's old and very chubby. Kinda reminds me of me when I was a baby. Hahaz!!!
So yeah, going and going and then I realised my FLU bug is GONE!!!!!! Thatz like a miracle considering I din get to sleep the morning before(slept at 2am) watching clips of Princess Hours and chatting with 2 of my friends. Seriously, itz a miracle. Hahaz...but my throat still hurts but never mind, the flu bug is gone!!!!!!!!
So yeah...Happy mood coming my way and I shall MOVE ON!!!!!!!!! Moving on freely!!!!!!!
|12:13 PM|
Aisey Bedah!!!!!!! Argh!!!!! I already written on the entry before it all got lost!!! ARGH!!!!!!
ANYWAYZ...................................
Hari Raya this year takla semeriah mana pun....
Haiz.......Bingit2!!! Yang paling bingit! Nie hidung nie...Ada ker patut dia kenakan aku FLU BUG bila aku tgh EXCITED MITED untuk berjalan raya besok!
Argh!!!!!!!! FLU BUG!!!! PLEASE GO AWAY TOMORROW!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OKok...I should be grateful for the flu actually. Yelar...boleh juga ponteng kerja...Haiz....
All I know..BESOK, KENA STRONG..ACT HEALTHY!!!!! YEAH!!!!
|10:17 PM|
Itz raya again...so this is the checklist to do for tomorrow...GOSH!!! THEREZ SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!! Okiez...Thatz quite a feat to finish in one whole day..Hopefully,I canmake it!!!! So far all my biscuits that are made are : Whoa...thatz quite a lot of cookies already and yet I wish to bake more..Hahaz... All I know...All those cookies that are bake are all my favourites!!! I dun care if it cant finish even after Hari Raya ends cuz....I can still eat it after hari raya!!!! Yeay!!!!!!!!! To make matters worst, these are the biscuits that are the hardest to be found at all places excluding Cornflakes and Kuih Tart. Seriously, I dunnoe why itz hard to find traditional kuih nowadays. So yeah...Hari Raya is a day I am looking forward to cuz.... Itz one of the most happiest day in the whole year!!!!! SEE YA GUYS SOON!!!!!!! TATAZ!!! LUCKILY, LUCKILY..........I AM NOT WORKING TOMORROW!!!!! :) Oh yeah!!!! Juz in case I forget...I would like to wish all muslims and indians alike... HAPPY DEEPARAYA!!!!! :)
|11:31 PM|
Whoa......itz been a while again since I last blog.
Hmmm....though raya is coming....I STILL AM NOT READY FOR IT!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!
Shuckz....Still have the kuihs to make though therez already 3 types but I wish to bake more. I dunnoe why. Raya to me is about goodies!!! Therez gonna be a lot extras for kuihs..I just lurve kuih raya!!! Itz the best time to make use of my culinary skills without getting scolded by my mum. Reason being, she hates baking!!
Hahaz! Seriously..I lurve baking cookies cuz itz sweet. I hate to bake cake cuz it alwayz dun turn out to be like what I want it to be.
Seriously....I dun even know what to blog....mind blank..So yeah..I guess this is the crappy entry again. U dun need to understand this blog.....
|7:17 AM|
As promised no more bad news and this the latest good thing that happen to me!!!
I have no more pimples on my forehead anymore!!!! Yeay!!! Hahaz but thatz not the good thing.
The best thing was on 14th October 2006!!!
Preparation only started on friday. I had a hard time on friday. It was like slumber party at the mosque. Too good to be true aint it?? Everyone did not sleep the whole of friday. Everyone was super tired on the actual day itself. Unfortunately, we cant show it cuz the volunteers are excited about this event. We have to be active and put on a fresh face.
Due to lack of sleep.......I was as usual, SUPER HYPER ACTIVE by the time night time came. Everyone said I was a little bit crazy. Yeahlah, I talked like a train with my high pitched voice. There was a Masss Outreach Programme and I juz go to the group of malay guys known as the "Mamats". They must have think I am a crazy little tudung girl! Seriously, I just go and spread my message. Too lazy to even think of the consequences to them. What to do...itz juz me when I am left with the least energy in my brain.
All I know, while the other facis were half dead, including me, I was still talking and talking without even bothering the effect it will have on me. But never mind, the effect was good anyways..Hahaz..the team was super active like me. I actually perk them instead!Hahaz..me and my craziness again! How many times it happen. Those who were in camp with me and I was their facilitator, would agree that it happen too many times! When they was tired, I would be asking them to wake up!!!
So there you go, the happy news though a bit incomplete..No energy to type and think at this point of time. Hope u guys forgive me!
|11:14 PM|
Love....if I were to talk about this thing, promise me, nobody will flare up in the tagboard??? Can okiez.......This shall include my CPU...hahaz..My CPU always crashes on me whenever I talk about love.
Love......the song in malay that was the first page is dedicated to my Mr. B. Seriously, seriously...if first love is this hard, I guess I wont be able to fall in love anymore. I was drowned in the sea. How could I have created this big mistake? How could I fall for him so deep that its so, SUPER hard for me to move on? Not once but many a times so much so that almost evryone I knew scolded me.
Am I that weak? Am I that naive to believe love is everlasting???? I guess I am. Sometimes I wonder how people move on. Did they take a long time to get over their first love like I did?? Seriously, I am super naive or is it because I cant take hardships? Is it because this is the first time I ask for something that I can never get? Is is because he was never meant for me but I kept thinking he is? Sometimes.....I really am not too sure of myself.
Seriously, there was a point I did move on. I did after so long he din contact. I really did move on. I even told my friends that if he were to call me, i would move on and not go back to this depression road again. Unfortunately, it was not to be. It was just an empty dustbin making noise. When he called, at first, yeah...it seems like I did move on. But as the days gone by, there was something. I guess itz just me. Flashes of him keep coming in my dreams yet again and I kept missing him again. The heart skips a beat when he calls the 2nd and the next. Smiles were on my face as he calls. Yet again, I was falling into the trap yet again.
So then, I really dunnoe whats wrong with me. Then again, I should move on because I am doing injustice to both him and myself. I heard, nopez, He told me he was doing well in skewl and might or might not find someone new in his skewl. Should I feel jealous and over react to his actions??? I mean, itz been so long we broke up but why do I still feel the way I feel when we were together??? The feeling, for those who are in my shoes or have been in my shoes...will know and should know that this feeling is full of pain and disastrous to oneself.
I am trying so hard over here to move on as much as I can. I am depleted of energy to move on. Seriously, it is true. Each time, he returns, my energy is used up to make me move on. As that energy gets depleted, I feel so empty. I am just scared that this energy will make me avoid falling for anyone ever again.
I have started to feel insecure about myself. This is getting scary, aint it? At work, I am not bubbly. In fact, I seemed to be quiet almost all the time. The thing that can make me stay sane is of course, my volunteerism, my best friends at work(Fidah and Juli) and by praying to Allah S.W.T.
Haiz....seriously....I just hope I can just find the energy to move on and still believes that love could lasts for eternity if I find the right one. I just hope tomorrow is a better day. I have been dragging tomorrow to come as tomorrow seems to bring bad news rather than good news. I hope with a new lease of bedroom with Lavender aroma filling the room. I might just ease away of stress over this.
I wish I could go back in secondary school days where life seems ever so peaceful. Though I may not be the popular group, but at least I have fun. So does my poly days....I wish I could go back time and erase the part where he broke up with me for the first time.
In days to come, I hope my blog will be filled with happy news rather than bad news. So far, life has been more of a bad news and the best thing that has happen so far to me is getting a new bedroom. I hope more will come. I shall blog about it and put the past far behind me. I hope I wont go to that depression road if he does find someone new. I should move on with my life as much as I can though the energy thats inside of me is at it's minimum. All I know, I cant take anymore bad news coming my way. I will be in super great depression that I might go to IMH for medical purpose. Thats the reason why everywhere I go, I must have motivation posters to keep me going.
I repeat once more...please do not flare up on my tagboard. I just hope this would be my last time talking about love. (hope itz not an empty dustbin again) haiz.........
life is meaningless....I shall end this with the lyrics to the song Kenangan Terindah by Samsons
Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
Cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
Yang mampu menyanjungku
Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
Selama itu pun
Aku mampu tuk mengenangmu
Darimu...
Kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku...
Kau lah cinta sejati
Ooh...
Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang tlah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah
Ooh...
P.S. The bold words are the words that really touches my heart and really depicts my life.
|10:47 PM|
Ya know....I just realised something..
My CPU did not crash on me...rather itz because my CPU ada sikit slow fuse macam tuan dia juga. ...
This is because, I haven use my computer so long. Thus the cpu need a little bit start up. Kena warm up beberapa hari baru dia cepat bergerak!!! Haiz.............It applies to my office com 2 ya noe...My office com pun, masa first day, fulamakz.....punya la lama nak start..tapi skrg...fuyoo........cepat bergerak!
anywayz...thatz what I want to blog juz to test my computer at home...so sesiapa yang tak faham..tak payah faham....itz ok...
|10:24 PM|
Hey peepz...
This is gonna by my shortest blog. Hahaz..will it be???
Anywayz...itz been a great month so far.
Shuckz man..the reason there was a long break was because my CPU crash down on me!!!! ARGH!!! I really have a lot of things to say but because my CPU crash down, I cant blog about it. Now, I am at work blogging!!!! Argh!!!
Anywayz...the big news is..MY ROOM HAS BEEN RENOVATED!!!! YEAYNESS!!!!!!! I have a NEW bed!!!!!!!! YEAYNESS!!!!!!!!
Now, I need to buy a new CPU! But hor..I no money to buy CPU..Someone care to sponsor me?? Hahaz...never mind, I intend to buy this new CPU in January next year. Reason being, in december, therez a BONUS!!!!
Okiez ar..this is the most crap blog I have ever written so itz not meant to be understood..To my MR B, the song, "My Heart" by Irwan Syah and the girl seems like our situation eh? It should be made our song!!!!!! Haiz.......anywayz, I think that song only apply to me. Hahaz!
So anyway.....tatz it peepz...I cant wait for 14th Oct cuz.................Itz YIC day!!!! Im super uber excited about it!!!! Cya guyz there!!!
|1:08 PM|