Soul: Sharifah Nurulhuda
First Cry: 240685
Schools: South View Pri Dunearn Sec Singapore Poly RMIT Uni
Hangouts: Esplanade Central
Kak Nor Siti Azziana Abdillah Benjamin Faeiz Hisham Haddad Khairul Anwar Liyana Najib Zafirah Yasmin
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Life is full of Ups and Downs...its your choice whether you want it be on the bright side or the other
Itz been a while yeah....
I have been busy cleaning my room this past weekend and I saw something that catches my eyes.......so here goes the starting: -
Before I was introduced to the world of blogging, I used to write in a diary. That was years ago...till last year. I suddenly realised something. In almost every entry of my diary since primary 6(yeah thatz when I first started writing), there was one name that kept mentioning. Yeah, you guess it ryte. Who else but my beloved ex(whom I still love, thus the word beloved), Mohd. Faeiz B Ramley. See..even now...his name still lingers in my diary. The different is.....then, we were juz friends but then, we became lovers to secret lovers to friends again. Seriously, yeah..there was other people's name but they only lasted like a few months and then stop. But this guy...I dunnoe whatz so special about him that in almost every entry there's his name. Gosh! Hope he din read this. Nah, he still can't figure out how to even after I teach him how to do it. hahaz!
Haiz...seriously..since itz super evident we cant be together, I dunnoe why I keep on hanging on to him. Haiz...not once but so many a time. The different between then and now is that....Now, you guyz can tag on it. I still remember this guy..forgot his name. I think it was argh!!! I dunnoe ar...perhapz, u can enlightened me. This guy would give advises. I tink hez from SP cuz I saw his nick on Haddad's tagboard. I just love Faeiz for who he is, that voice of his and his character. Then, he was my motivator..now, he still is but with studying not a factor, he is my motivator to face the day bravely. All I know, I am still struggling to live as a singleton. Everyone knows no matter what happen, if faeiz were to ask me to go back to him, I will. I mean it does not happen once but a lot of times already..thus the word secret lovers cuz nobody knows we are together till I break with him once again. I am tired, he too is tired of playing this hide and seek game. Since when will this chain of events will break..it have to depends on one party. Haiz...
Sighing is not a good thing aint it?? But it was...then...another name crops up my journal. My friend who juz couldn't be friends with me anymore. I thought it happen once when I read again. Nopez, it has happened twice. The different between then and now is then we were in secondary school together. There was a high chance of rekindling back friendship. Now, as we walk different paths, it makes it difficult to rekindle back. The main reason is, of course, no physical connection to make amends. I have to rely on other communication method which is by far....USELESS. I dunnoe..I still feel action speaks louder than words. Thatz why all method to me is useless. Haiz....I really miss her. I mean we were close friends. We had a lot of memories together. I really hope she will forgive me and go back to old times where I can ask her out juz to have a cup of tea. Sit and hang out at Segar LRT station for hours. Haiz....
Thus, the memories....the names of various people that came into my life. How I nearly became attached to another guy but din. How I suffered back in secondary school days were reflected. How a girl became jealous of me cuz I was close to a guy she like. How I transformed from a boyish chick to a real chick. I guess I have changed a lot, A WHOLE LOT! I still remember how I used to hate makeup and wearing contact lenses. Now, these things are like my life. I still remember how my dress code doesnt matter. Now, it matters a WHOLE LOT. You may asked my ex who saw me transformed. He knew cuz the first time I met him, I was wearing like a pajama. Now, pajama is out but I became a women. A real WOMAN/ LADY. Makeup is not like putting foundation. Make up to me is juz eyeliner and lipstick. I cant wear foundation cuz it juz destroys my face.
Yeah, the first time I wore make up..Fuyoo...breakouts were imminent! I just cant wear them. That also became part of the topic in my diary. I hate breakouts. The real thing is I hate pimples!!!!!!! PIMPLES! EWW..........Thus, the top priority is to keep my face as far away from pimples. I used to have a MAJOR breakout back in poly days..Whoa!!!! That was my worst year!! Seriously, I was lucky enough..None of my breakout turns into scars or I will be DOOMED!!! I was this vain! See! See what I mean by changing to a real LADY. Back in secondary school, this pimples din matter to me. You can asked my secondary schoolmates. While they are busy trying to burst the pimples, I just let it grow till it drop off my face. It really helps, I tell you. The more you try to burst the pimples(i tried it in poly), the more pimples that grows on ur face. Back in secondary school days, i was proud enough that I din have that much pimples.
So...changing is just part of life. The reason I wrote this entry is not because I wanted to continue off from my ex's entry but itz because I saw my own diary and it kinda makes me reflects on stuffs. Now, itz the time for happiness..
Yesterday, I went to the Home Team Academy. It was great! Superbly great!!! The concert were great!!!!!!!! Trust me! It was great!!! Taufiq Batisah was there!!!!!!!!!! Khairul Anwar was there!!!! If I din quarrel with my friend, I would have brought her there instead. This is because she likes khairul anwar!! Though, he is my friend back in poly. We talked a bit. but not so much.
I guess this is the entry for today....so much about reflections..And yeah, I will change the skin soon! Watch out for it!!!
|3:41 PM|